Eight ways to practice self love during craptastic times
Written by Emma
Not to get deep but... Let’s get real.
Our heart’s blessing is its power to love and grieve.
Right? Like, our soul knows this but our ego was built to fight it. Note to self during times of immense challenge and heartbreak: our ego hates that nothing is permanent in this sideshow of a life (not the big brownstones, gorgeous coats or international holidays). Our petty ego hates that our hearts are really at the end of the day the only thing we got.
And this is both a heartbreaking and beautiful realization.
So when you're lying on the bathroom floor, crying, at night after a break up remember that this raw primary emotion you’re feeling—grief—is healthy. Reacting to this primary emotion, however, will only serve to interrupt and slow your sacred passage into the next chapter of your life.
On that slightly terrifying note. We need to practice self care during these challenging times. So go on, put your trainer wheels on, go out and buy some magnesium salts in bulk and search self care playlists on Spotify. And may I add, I really don’t like the term self care. It implies selfish women taking long decadent baths—which is one hundred percent me. So in order to shake the shadow I have around self care (maybe it’s a shadow I picked up from society; do we all hate the term self care because the patriarchy made us?) I decided to write a list.
You’re welcome.
Let’s look at ways we can practice self-care during the storms.
Practice gratitude: Even though it’s so fucking cliche, take time each day to reflect on the things in your life that you are thankful for, no matter how small they may seem, or how huge your shit show of a divorce is. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones and it’s like learning how to wear varifoculs: impossible at first, but after a few slips, you get the hang of it.
Take care of your physical health: Eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep are all important for maintaining physical and mental well-being. Make sure to take care of your body by staying active, eating nutritious foods, and getting enough rest. To make it micro: stretch each day by candle light as you listen to ambient music. Let’s calm that shit down.
Connect with others: People can be fucking annoying, but surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who will be there for you during tough times. Not just the ones who befriended you so you’d join their pyramid scheme/meetup group. Joining a support group or seeking out therapy can also be helpful in building a support system.
Set boundaries: Sometimes women get too boundaried in this era of Instagram healing. Like, you want them to shake their hair and go dancing on mushrooms until 5 am. But for rest of us going through the vulnerability sutras, It's important to set boundaries with people in your life to ensure that your needs are being met. This can include saying no to tasks or commitments that you don't have the energy for or creating boundaries with people who are asshholes. Also, a boundary can make you super magnetic and make space for other good things to land. Marie Kondo that shit right now.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being. I like to sit with a candle and stare at it, very relaxing. Easy to do if you find it hard to meditate.
Find ways to relax: Find activities that help you relax and unwind, such as yoga, meditation, reading, or listening to music.
Take time for yourself: Make sure to schedule time each day to do something that you enjoy, whether it's taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or simply sitting and reading a book.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind and understanding with yourself, especially during difficult times. Remember that everyone goes through challenges and it's okay to not be perfect.
Remember that self-love is a journey, and it may take time to develop these practices into habits. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and know that you deserve love and care. Seek out support when needed and don't be afraid to reach out for help if you're struggling.
