How to balance a demanding job and a divorce without losing your cool
Going through a divorce is ground zero for your cortisol levels. Having a demanding job and boss as well? That’s not a good combination. When I was going through my divorce, I was making ends meet with various dead-end jobs, since I lost my visa to work in the States (see: trauma, foul play, and alien immigration status).
In a way, my actual work (serving tables, running healing workshops in my New York apartment, writing about personal finance whilst praying to Ganesh, the god of abundance) was less stressful than a high-end career and the pressures therein, mostly because I had already failed at a career and had nowhere to go but up.
But if you, dear reader, have far to fall in your impressive job, then this is for you (and don’t forget that even though you work, if you’re the primary caregiver, you should be getting child support).
Here are some tips on how to deal with a stressful job and demanding boss while going through a divorce:
Take care of yourself: It's important to take care of yourself during this time. Make sure you're getting enough rest, eating a healthy diet, and taking time for exercise and self-care. It can be easy to neglect your own needs when you're going through a difficult time, but taking care of yourself will help you better manage the stress at work and in your personal life.
Set boundaries: Set clear boundaries with your boss and coworkers about what you can and cannot do. Be honest about what's going on in your personal life and how it's affecting you, and ask for support when you need it. Be clear about your priorities and what you need to focus on, both at work and in your personal life.
Prioritize your work: When you're going through a divorce, it can be hard to stay focused on your work. Try to prioritize your work tasks and focus on the most important ones. This will help you feel more in control and reduce your stress levels. Use your time at work to stay focused on work, and leave your personal issues at home.
Communicate with your boss: Takl openly and honestly with your boss about what you're going through. Explain how it's affecting you and what you're doing to manage it. If you need some flexibility or time off, be clear about what you need and why. If your boss is aware of what's going on, they may be more understanding and willing to work with you.
Consider asking for support from HR: If your job has an HR department, consider reaching out to them for support. They may be able to provide resources or accommodations to help you through this difficult time, such as flexible work hours, counseling services, or time off.
Seek professional help: If you're struggling to manage your stress levels and cope with your divorce, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with coping strategies and support to help you manage your stress levels and stay focused at work.
Take breaks: It's important to take breaks throughout the day to clear your mind and reduce stress. Take a walk, listen to music, or do some deep breathing exercises to help you stay focused and calm.
Stay organized: Staying organized can help you feel more in control and reduce your stress levels. Use a calendar or planner to keep track of your work tasks, appointments, and personal commitments. This can help you better manage your time and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Remember your why: Finally, remember why you're working. Whether it's to support yourself, your children, or your future goals, keep your motivation in mind. This can help you stay focused on the bigger picture and find the strength to push through the tough times.
Yeah queen, dealing with a stressful job and demanding boss while going through a divorce can be a shit show, but it's not the end of the world. By taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, prioritizing your work, communicating with your boss, seeking support from HR or a therapist, taking breaks, staying organized, and remembering your why, you can successfully manage the stress and stay focused on your work and personal goals.